"The Borg won't know fun if they asimilated an amusment park." -- Torres to Seven. RE 'FUN' People these days say too many double redundancies. "Krik's mind raced as he quickly assessed his situation: the shields were down, the warp drive and impulse engines were dead, life support was failing fast, and the Enterprise was plummeting out of control toward the surface of Epsilon VI and, as Scotty and Spock searched frantically through the manuals trying to find a way to save them all, Kirk vowed, as he stared at the solid blue image filling up his view screen, that never again would he allow a Microsoft operating system to control his ship." -- Mike Rottmann, Reno, Nevada Lost interest? It's too bad, I've lost apathy. You're being followed. Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days. Get forgiveness now -- tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty. Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today. "When the weight of the paperwork equals the weight of the plane, the plane will fly." -- Donald Douglas "A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line today. The results blacked out 1400 homes and, of course, one raccoon." -- Steel City News "APL is a write-only language. I can write programs in APL, but I can't read any of them." -- Roy Keir Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret. "There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy ..." -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" Main's Law: For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. Paranoia is simply an optimistic outlook on life. HOW YOU CAN TELL THAT IT'S GOING TO BE A ROTTEN DAY: #32: You call your answering service and they've never heard of you. The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an approaching train. "Age before beauty; and pearls before swine." -- Dorothy Parker Monday is an awful way to spend one seventh of your life. Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad. Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should. Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn't expect to be paid back. The average income of the modern teenager is about 2 a.m. "Anything created must necessarily be inferior to the essence of the creator." -- Claude Shouse || "Einstein's mother must have been one heck of a physicist." -- Joseph C. Wang "Jesus saves...but Gretzky gets the rebound!" -- Daniel Hinojosa I am Pentium of Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Pessimist:* you refuse the parachute because you might die in the jump anyway. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Optimist:* you refuse the parachute because people have survived jumps just like this before. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Procrastinator:* you play a game of Monopoly for the parachute. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Bureaucrat:* you order them to conduct a feasibility study on parachute use in multi-engine aircraft under code red conditions. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Lawyer:* you charge one parachute for helping them sue the airline. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Doctor:* you tell them you need to run more tests, then take the parachute in order to make your next appointment. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Sales executive:* you sell them the parachute at top retail rates and get the names of their friends and relatives who might like one too. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Internal Revenue Service:* you confiscate the parachute along with their luggage, wallet, and gold fillings. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Advertiser:* you strip-tease while singing that what they need is a neon parachute with computer altimeter for only $39.99. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Engineer:* you make them another parachute out of aisle curtains and dental floss. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Scientist:* you give them the parachute and ask them to send you a report on how well it worked. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Mathematician:* you refuse to accept the parachute without proof that it will work in all cases. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Philosophy:* you ask how they know the parachute actually exists. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *English:* you explicate simile and metaphor in the parachute instructions. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Comparative Literature:* you read the parachute instructions in all four languages. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Computer Science:* you design a machine capable of operating a parachute as well as a human being could. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Economics:* you plot a demand curve by asking them, at regular intervals, how much they would pay for a parachute. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Psychoanalysis:* you ask them what the shape of a parachute reminds them of. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Drama:* you tie them down so they can watch you develop the character of a person stuck on a falling plane without a parachute. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Art:* you hang the parachute on the wall and sign it. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Republican:* as you jump out with the parachute, you tell them to work hard and not expect handouts. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Democrat:* you ask them for a dollar to buy scissors so you can cut the parachute into two equal pieces. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Libertarian:* after reminding them of their constitutional right to have a parachute, you take it and jump out. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Ross Perot:* you tell them not to worry, since it wonUt take you long to learn how to fix a plane. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Surgeon General:* you issue a warning that skydiving can be hazardous to your health. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Association of Tobacco Growers:* you explain very patiently that despite a number of remarkable coincidences, studies have shown no link whatsoever between airplane crashes and death. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *National Rifle Association:* you shoot them and take the parachute. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Police Bigot:* you beat them unconscious with the parachute. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Environmentalist:* you refuse to use the parachute unless it is biodegradable. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Objectivist:* your only rational and moral choice is to take the parachute, as the free market will take care of the other person. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Branch Davidian (David Koresh):* you get inside the parachute and refuse to come out. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Sports Fan:* you start betting on how long it will take to crash. You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute: *Auto Mechanic:* as long as you are looking at the plane engine, it works fine. As seen in USA Today: "What do you get when you cross IBM and Apple?" "IBM" Another reason you should never use Internet Explorer: http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=02/04/17/0237246 "Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company." -- Mark Twain Veni, Vedi, Veci. "Dependancy this!!!" I shout as I type rm -rf /root/fooker (about RedHat's RPM problems) Symbolic link to /dev/null failed. "If the Commonweath's High Guard had a weakness, it was this: Its officers where to competent, to caring and too brave." Yoi Man-We, THe Rise and Fall of the Systems Commonwealth C.Y. 11942 - Andromeda Ascendant S1E01 "There's a difference between kissing ass, and covering ass." -- Ms Oulette, Careers teacher, RE: Letters to Managers about company/employee problems. Everybody is entitled to my opinion. Should criminals be the only ones to fear a policed state? I think not. Privacy is Privacy. "I have faith in nothing but this: when the universe collapses and dies, there will three survivers: Tyr Anasazi, the cockroaches, and Dylan Hunt, trying to save the cockroaches." -- Tyr Anasazi, in "Andromeda Ascendant" episode "Belly of the Beast" "You could even say, "We ate our cake, outside of the box, and had it too."" -- Trance Gemini to Dylan about a virutal miracle, "Andromeda Ascendant" episode "The Belly of the Beast" "You know why I left you to die? - Because you're so uncompromisingly *inferior*!" -- Tyr Anasazi, in "Andromeda Ascendant" episode "Exit Strategies" "I've give you credit for persistance, but no points at all for brains." -- Rommie to Agent Carter, in "Andromeda Ascendant" episode "All Too Human" "Tyr Anasazi of the Kodiac Pride, clearly I am not in heaven." -- Rev Bem, in "Andromeda Ascendant" episode "Exit Strategies" "You know, for something thats susposed to be a myth, it sure did a hell of a lot of damage." -- Dylan Hunt, about the Sedist, in "Andromeda Ascendant" episode "The Belly of the Beast" "Your willingness to defy the universal odds is a disease that apparently we have all contracted." -- Tyr Anasazi, about risks, in "Andromeda Ascendant" episode "The Belly of the Beast" "Hey stoic one, we're alive, dance with me." -- Beka Valenine to Tyr Ansazi, after Miracle, in "Andromeda Ascendant" episode "The Belly of the Beast"
The property is defined on this object (not inherited).